These past few days I've been carrying a lot of anger within myself.  I know that that is not a healthy thing to do and that I should release the anger and move on.  Sometimes though I can't help but dwell on the past and then I get even angrier at the situation.  I have decided to heed my own advice.  "Just let it go."  Life, especially my life, is way too complicated to be worrying about frivolous things.  I just need to let go and release....

I think have come to the conclusion that I need to have a more positive outlook at life.  Instead of always looking at things so negatively, I need to have a more positive view of things.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm usually the first one to see the glass as being half full, but I've been so jaded lately that I can't help but see the glass being half empty. 

It is my belief that people and certain circumstances come into our lives and they come into our lives for a reason.  There's either a lesson to be learned or an opportunity to meet someone who will enhance our lives, but it's up to us to figure out the message.   

Gosh, things in my life right now are so complicated.  It just seems to get more frustrating and harder as the days go by.  Sometimes it feels like I'm getting sucked into this black hole and have no way of getting out.  How did my life get to be like this?!  It once was carefree and had no strings attached to it.  Now I have so much going on in my life that I feel like my head is swimming.  I'm so confused about a lot of things and just wish that things could just be. 

These past few months have been really trying for me.  With people coming and going, mostly going, it's so hard to find myself on both feet.  I keep trying to pick myself up and move on, but it's proving to be a lot harder than I had anticipated.  This was suppose to be my year.  The year where I focus and get back on track and improve myself.  I've had so many setbacks and have gotten sidelined so many times that I feel like it's hopeless.  To lose hope is like not having a purpose to life anymore.  When will my big break happen and when will I find happiness within myself and my surroundings?

I was once happy.  But now that happiness is gone.  Now instead of just accepting it, I'm trying so hard to fill that void, yet nothing seems to be working.  It only makes me realize more and more just how alone I am.  I can't stand to be alone.  I've been trying to make myself more independent, self sufficient and to only depend on myself, but then I remember the good days when I didn't have to shoulder as much and I could share it with someone, but now I don't have that luxury anymore. 

It doesn't help that the other aspects of my life are pretty stressful.  School, work, life, friends, everything.  I'm so stressed out about everything in life that I feel like pulling out my hair.  This is the beginning of the journey to the unglueing of me......